December 26th, 2010

empty room

my cold iced rain

It would be ok to keep loving you just for not to fall in love with someone else, wouldn't it? I still thinking I don't have any rights to love someone, I still have long way to go. I'm still not ready.
Maybe sometime in future I will be free and I will have some courage and strengh and then I will merit new love.
Or maybe it is just excuse not to do anything?
Maybe I just come up with excuses.
Maybe it is just time I need to stand up and make a step to new future.
But I don't think I'm ready...
I really don't merit it...
I need to be in despair, in lonelyness and stand alone in the cold iced rain. It serves my right.